Oh My God, I'm Not Skinny!?
What kind of asshole just calls someone fat on the street? I think it happens to all the overweight people of the world, doesn't it? Once somebody yelled "Wilson Phillips" at me (this was pre-Carnie Wilson's surgery, of course). I also got "Jenny Craig" once. My strategy was always to pretend I hadn't heard it, but then I always wished I had some snappy comeback at the ready. I don't know how to make anyone non-fat feel that bad, though. Any ideas?
posted by mo pie at 12:14 PM
16 Comments:
Well, there's always the old standby of "I can lose weight but you'll always be an asshole." Though you might not want to yell that at a driver while you're standing right in front of him in the crosswalk. Urban survival skills, you know.
That's the same thing I thought of. Or what about, "Hey, you should smile--they do full face transplants now so you're in luck!" Then call him an ugly fucker! That would make ME feel better!
The thing that sucks about this is that these guys almost always make sure you aren't in a position to retaliate, so there's rarely a chance to make a snappy comeback. For my part, these are the times I wish I had the super power of being able to stall the a-hole's car so I could take my time thinking up something really brilliant and nail them with it. And if that wasn't satisfying enough, I'd see to it the car never unstalled. Mwah-ha-ha!
Adiosbarbie.com has a great page of comebacks volunteered by their readers: http://adiosbarbie.com/features/features_comebacks.html
I love this site, but they haven't added anything new in years. Sigh...
I once lost about 50 pounds and was feeling really good about myself. I was walking down the street and this car full of guys drive by and just yell, 'FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!" out the window to me.
Just "Fat!" I wasn't even crossing the street.
Frustrating that I lose the equivalent of a springer spaniel and was STILL open to anonymous abuse.
It has never occurred to me to yell out the window at anyone about anything. I don't understand the mentality.
I also love Adios Barbie.
The last time I went running, some jerks in a car yelled at me. They didn't yell "fat" or anything. They just yelled. It was jarring and obnoxious.
Well, when given the opportunity, i usually simply turn to the person and say "who the hell brought you up? What kind of parents could have raised someone so stupid?" I just keep talking and insulting them without letting them get a word in. I am also known to scream and curse at such people about what rude, thoughtless stupid morons they are until they run away in fear. Well, it works for me.
Well, when given the opportunity, i usually simply turn to the person and say "who the hell brought you up? What kind of parents could have raised someone so stupid?" I just keep talking and insulting them without letting them get a word in. I am also known to scream and curse at such people about what rude, thoughtless stupid morons they are until they run away in fear. Well, it works for me.
I would personally go for the "No shit Sherlock" approach.
For example, looking down at yourself, mockingly shocked and horrified, and say "What? I'm fat? Oh god, I never knew! Why didn't anyone ever tell me!" and then give him a dirty look and walk away all calmly and peacefully. I mean, what the hell are they expecting, to give us this deep relevation about ourselves? Der.
Laura bora,
What a terrible story! I wish I could find those boys and magically apply 50 lbs to each of their asses. Or maybe to just half of each of their asses, so their one giant ass cheek would perpetually throw them off balance.
I know why they do it; they feel powerless, and god forbid a teenaged boy should feel powerless. Pushing someone else down a peg in a situation where they are absolutely safe from retribution makes them feel like the Big Man.
Sort of a tangent, but I've lost about 120 lbs, and when I was about 50 lbs into it, I read a book in which some guy is put in a jail cell with a giant, ham-fisted bruiser of a guy that the author describes as weighing about what I did (250 lbs). Sigh. The during part of weight loss is the worst. You get to enjoy a lot of experiences that give the lie to the idea that anyone is simply worried about your health, or about rising health care costs, or whatever b.s. reason is being offered up to justify pulling rank on the fat girl.
Oh, I have SO had that happen to me. I find that the good ol' finger and a big smile works for me. However, the idiots who do this are always in a car (too scared to say it to your face, I guess) and you can't exactly have an involved discussion with them. This shit infuriates me though. As much as I try to let it roll off my back, it always ruins the rest of my day. The last time it happened my fiance and I had been out to see Movin' Out at the theater and were heading to a blues club. I looked and felt fabulous. What, assholes can't pick a day when my hair is frizzy and my makeup nonexistant?
And why is it always boys? I don't think any woman has ever rolled down their car window to scream insults at a random fat stranger. Have they?
Sorry, I got off on a rant there. Rant over. :)
Kristin
I am so sorry that happened to you. My usual response is along the lines of, "Oh,gee, thanks for pointing that out. I hadn't noticed. I'll get to work on it right away. Now if we could only find a cure for stupid and mean." Of course, if they are in a car and moving, a double finger is somewhat satisfying, although going the "deaf, cannot hear remark" route is probably more effective, because after all, the little turds are just looking for a response...just like obnoxious 8-year-olds with snakes and whatnot. Again, sorry that happened. We love you.
At the risk of sounding a bit new age-ish, I discovered the best response shortly after hearing advice from Maya Angelou. She suggested that, anytime you're in a situation where some stranger feels compelled to say something mean to you, you must realize that "you're not in it." That is to say that the person would likely say the same rude comment to any other person who happened to walk by. It has nothing to do with ME, so why should I even pay attention?
After hearing that advice, the next time a rude comment was hurled my way, a couple things happened. First, I felt the complete liberation of not getting defensive! Then, I said NOTHING in response and went about my business. As I was leaving the "scene," I laughed out loud because I realized that it wasn't about me. I also realized that I would likely never encounter this person again, so why should his opinion mean anything to me at all?
Once I experienced this ephipany, not only did my life become a lot easier, the comments all but vanished. That was about 13 years ago.
Remember, just say to yourself, "I'm not in it."
If the person is close enough, offer your right hand with a cheerful smile and say, "Van den Berg!"
They just don't get it. My brother goes up to women he deems "overweight" and tells them "you know if you lost a few pounds someone like me might ask you out". I've told him this hurts, and it makes me cry just knowing he says it. He's got his own issues. As one of the commenters said this has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.
Oh, Elenamary. I know he's your brother and all, but he's not MY brother and if someone said something like that to me, I'd smile sweetly and say "what makes you think ANYONE would EVER want to go out with you?"
Having been on both sides of the slim/chubby line, I do have to say that extra pounds really are a good nasty-judgmental-person screener.
well as a girl Ive gotten cat calls of many both ways fat and skinny 50 lbs.difference and well i just figure no matter what is being said im still getting attention. so to me, i think its funny, i smile, i wave and laugh. there too dumb to figure out what im laughing at. (but i am laughing last!)
F.Y.I. girls do and have rolled down there windows...
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