These Fat Rolls Are Made For Walking

Via Nicole, I found this advice column by Carolyn Hax. Here's the question:

"I am 25 and have been with Dave, 30, for almost three years. We live together and plan to get married and have kids. One thing that repeatedly comes up, though, is my body, and my failure to go to the gym or eat right. This has been our only real disagreement. He thinks I would be perfect if I dropped 15 pounds."

Her friends are telling her that she's not overweight yet but she shouldn't "let herself go" now, and she should take him up on his offer to pay for her schooling in exchange for her losing the 15 pounds. And here's part of Hax's answer:

"Unfortunately, your shaky body image is both the exact reason you should flip Dave the bird and the exact reason you haven't been able to. You're ready to believe his criticism is fair. You're also ready to believe, enabled by friends, that his offer is about your health. It's not. It's about a guy making his love for you conditional... I have three words for you: Run, run, run. And not in the exercise sense."

I think this came up before in the infamous "false advertising" debate, but if a guy tried to dictate what he thought was my "perfect" weight and bribe me to reach it, that would be the end of that relationship. And possibly the end of that guy's ability to bear children, as I'd probably kick him right in the nuts. Or so I'd like to think.

That's Progress, Sugar

I will paraphrase: "there are so many fat people now, we have to actually make clothes for them. Also, it turns out that they have money, and occasionally spend it on clothing. Wow!" Duh.

"As waistlines expand across America, fashionable plus-size clothes are proliferating and moving into the mainstream. In some cases, plus sizes are leaving the outer fringes of the store floor to hang next to 'regular-sized' clothes... But it took decades for many retailers to see the light. 'The stores did not want the plus-size woman to mix with the svelte and slender,' Barnard said. 'Bad for the image, they felt.'"

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank each of my svelte and slender friends for risking their image in order to mix with me, the plus-size woman.

Fatwatch: Britney Spears

There are a bunch of people finding Big Fat Deal today by searching on "Britney Spears Fat" so I thought I'd point out that she's not fat, she's pregnant again. Here is an article with a photo that shows her baby bump, and news sites have articles up all over the place. So there you have it, fatwatchers.

It's Fred Flintstone's Fault

To move on from the theme of "things that make me want to smash a plate over someone's head," allow me to link this article, which rants about the fat husband/thin wife double standard on television. The author claims that this trend started with The Honeymooners and continues to this day with According to Jim and similar shows.

"And let us not forget animated shows, starting with the 'The Flintstones,' in which Fred’s bride was sexy (for a cartoon character) Wilma... Why should this trend bug me so much? Because at the dating service I ran for more than two decades, I continually had to 'battle' with overweight men who insisted that just because they were heavy, they did not want to meet overweight women. Many of these portly men blatantly admitted that they were not attracted to heavy women... And what can you expect, as these guys were members of a generation that grew up watching many of the shows mentioned above?"

The author also asked his wife if she could think of any shows where the wife was overweight, and Roseanne was her answer, though of course Dan Connor was overweight too. I'll also throw in George and Weezie Jefferson as a possibility, although I might be thinking of their respective Old Navy commercial weights, not their weights while they were on the show.

Now I don't think overweight guys are unattractive, any more than I feel that way about overweight women. But I'd like to see an overweight women portrayed as sexy and desirable on television, like, sometime before I die. I'll even settle for a cartoon.

Oprah and Martha and Trump, Oh My!

This judgy guy over here talking about Oprah reminded me of somthing I saw in a magazine the other day. But first let's hear from Mr. Judgy:

"Oprah obviously doesn't have any discipline when it comes to her nutritional and exercise habits. She may have great taste in clothes and books... but she has terrible taste in all things fitness and nutrition. And looking back at her life-long weight and body image ordeal she displays many of the classic signs of a person who has an eating disorder."

Don't fuck with Oprah, dude. With a snap of her fingers, she can eradicate you from the earth. But anyway, one of the trashy magazines that my gym subscribes to had an article about Oprah and Martha Stewart and how they've gained weight lately, and a whole list of reasons why (Martha's show didn't do well! Oprah is stressed out by James Frey!) with accompanying pictures, you know how it is.

All I could think was that there's no Donald Trump weight watch, or obsessive photos of Dr. Phil. Powerful, successful men are not questioned about their weight. On the other hand, Martha and Oprah are powerful, successful women, and yet they have these insulting articles written on a regular basis, examining their body weight as if it's news. It pisses me off.

And as for Mr. "Oprah doesn't have any discipline," he can kiss my ass. Oprah, like most of us, is just doing the best she can.

Punch Line

I apparently have no sense of humor, because when I got to the end of this article, I just kind of wanted to punch the writer.

"I recommend a 10 percent surtax on all women’s clothes size 2 or smaller, along with a label: WARNING: Being able to wear this product indicates that you may be seriously underweight, which could be indicative of eating disorders such as anorexia nervosa or bulimia which could lead to death. Plus, wearing this garment in public could create jealousy, hatred, animosity and even physical confrontation from bitter old women size 14 and over, which could lead to serious injury … or death."

I was with him until the "bitter old women size 14 and over" part (even though some women are naturally thin, so the joke is sizeist in both directions if you think about it) and then I was like, "Is he calling me gigantically fat? Is he calling me old?? Is he calling all fat women bitter, jealous, and hateful!?!" And then I remembered that I'm a hormonal trainwreck today, and perhaps I should back away from the internet slowly.

The Fat Gene

Today's Skinny Daily Post reprints a New York Times article about a possible "fat gene" in approximately ten percent of the population, which predisposes people to obesity. Possibly. Maybe. Nor not.

I don't exactly think this is big news, although La Wade will certainly correct me if I'm wrong. Don't we all know people who blame their genetics for fat thighs or big arms? Isn't this predisposition well known? Isn't it obviously true that related people will tend to share a body shape? Sure, it's part nurture, but genetics obviously plays into it, and some people are naturally thinner or heavier than others. Right?

As for myself, I have no biological relatives to speak of, so I have nowhere I can place the blame for my fat, at least not gentically. However, my mother is a "food is love" type of person, as I wrote about in Tales from the Scale on numerous occasions, I believe. In fact, my parents are in town and for Easter I got a pile of candy and pastries! They also critique my weight on a regular basis. Aah, family.

If you have any other ideas about the implications of the "fat gene" let me know. I don't think it really will encourage society to be more tolerant of the overweight, but of course I would be happy to be wrong.

It's Only Ten Bucks A Month, Though

Reader Amy alerts us to the existence of something called MyFoodPhone. Using your camera phone, you take pictures of your food before you eat it, and the pictures are then analyzed by "nutrition advisors" who give you "personalized video feedback" on your eating choices.

Okay, this makes no sense. Is this even real? Number one, how the hell can you tell what ingredients are in something based on a picture? Number two, clearly by the time you get your "video feedback," you've already eaten whatever it was you just took a picture of. Number three... I don't know, it's just dumb. Maybe someone who isn't me can see the point of this seemingly pointless service.

Doing My Part For Viral Marketing

Have you seen internet banner ads where kids digitally morph into serial killers? Those are the ads for Honey, We're Killing the Kids!, a new Nanny 911-esque reality show. The deal is that a nutritionist comes into your house and tells you how to improve your family's health and nutrition habits.

"At the beginning of the process, Hark shows the parents computer-generated images of what their children could look like at 40 if they continue their eating habits. The software used is similar to programs used by police, Hark said. 'We really scare the parents' with the photos, Hark said. 'It's a real wake-up call.'"

I'm all for teaching children healthy eating habits, but those ads creep me right the hell out.

Comments of the Week: Mandisa Edition

In case you missed it, La Wade pointed us to Mandisa's Advocate interview, which addresses her feelings (Mandisa's, not Wade's) on homosexuality. I would sum it up as: she is opposed to it, but not hateful about it.

We also got a short comment in this entry that really made me disproportionately angry: "I say there is a big difference between "full-figured" and Mandissa" [sic]. What does this mean? That it's okay to be "full-figured" as long as you aren't too full-figured? What is Mandisa if not a full figured woman? I don't know; I was really irritated.

And here's my favorite comment, from Miche in this post with another take on my oversimplified notions of blackness and weight (it's a long and interesting comment, I endorse checking out the whole thing):

"While it is true that culturally, a little bit of 'phatness' isn't a dating death sentence, I wouldn't go so far as to say that it is acceptible across the board to be fat. When I was heavy, I was called a fat, ugly bitch by as many black guys as white guys. Nowadays, thanks to the Internet, Beyonce, and music videos, black men are tending toward the Eurocentric aesthetic as far as looks go...

So, yeah. Everytime you think that it's more acceptible for black women to carry some weight, I ask you to remember that it's been more than a decade since Sir Mix A Lot wrote 'Baby's Got Back,' and there really haven't been any comparable shout-outs to women of any colors since."

I thought I heard a song on the radio not that long ago that was a shout-out to the big girls but now I can't remember what it was. Is it true that the days of "Fat Bottomed Girls" and "Big Bottom" are over?

Also, Jemima J Sucks

Last night I finished re-reading an old favorite book of mine, Sheila Levine Is Dead and Living in New York. I don't know where or when I acquired this book, but I've had my old battered copy for years, and I like to re-read it from time to time. It reminded me of this Fatty McBlog discussion about books for fat chicks, although it isn't about empowerment, really. Sheila, an overweight Jewish girl from New York with low self esteem, has decided to kill herself because she isn't married. The book is her suicide note. It's a little dated (it was written in the '70s) and sexually pretty graphic, but Sheila is a damn likeable character, and I think every woman will recognize a bit of themselves in Sheila. At one point, Sheila is getting advice from a friend and says something like, "I listened to Linda because she seemed to know about these things. Actually, I listened to anyone who was thin." Painfully, hilariously honest. I just thought I'd toss that into the ring. Hopefully your local library has a copy!

Denied

Mandisa is gone! Our dreams of a Big Beautiful Idol have been dashed. This is what comes of alienating your gay audience, Mandisa!

There's Always Molly Weasley

J.K. Rowling can come over and sit by us. Sort of.

"After the [British Book Awards] I bumped into a woman I hadn't seen for nearly three years. The first thing she said to me? 'You've lost a lot of weight since the last time I saw you!'

'Well,' I said, slightly nonplussed, 'the last time you saw me I'd just had a baby.'

What I felt like saying was, 'I've produced my third child and my sixth novel since I last saw you. Aren't either of those things more important, more interesting, than my size?' But no – my waist looked smaller! Forget the kid and the book: finally, something to celebrate!”

I applaud her ideals, but I think Rowling should put her money where her mouth is. When I think of her novels and the issue of fat, I think of Harry's fat aunt blowing up like a balloon, the Fat Lady portrait and associated fat jokes, and the piggish Dudley. And she wonders why fat is considered such an evil? I mean I love the Potter to an unreasonable degree, but still. Am I missing something?

Maybe in book seven, Harry Potter and the Hard-to-find Old Things, she can write in an overweight character who isn't Delores Umbridge, a giant, or a Dursley.

Fight! Fight! Fight!

In case you enjoy a good fight with a semi-stupid person, look no further than this comment. You guys, I'm 31 and I walked up two flights of stairs to get to my office today. IT'S A MEDICAL MIRACLE. Also, I don't exactly understand what the "walked on our planet" joke is about, but it must be funny, since it features an "lol."

To wash the taste out of your mouth, here are some cute photos of a plus-sized beauty contest in China. I wish I had a fuzzy robe and a fan. And a giant drum.

Life In The Fat Lane

I feel like the internet has been extra-quiet today! So maybe I'll try one of these open thread things. I don't exactly understand them, but you're a smart bunch. You probably do. So share a link, an anecdote, a pet peeve, a happy thought. Let us know what's going on out there.

I'll start: I was shopping at Sephora this weekend and buying Bliss products (I love their face wash and pore-refining scrub so much) and noticed that they had an anti-cellulite cream called Fat Girl Slim. I probably should have boycotted Bliss on general principle, because that's such a horrifying product name, but I didn't. You may use this open thread to shame me.

Please note that "Fat Girl Slim" is caffeine you rub all over yourself, and is the "skin-slimming stuff of choice of supermodels, spokespeople, and other celebs." I guess that's the upside to spilling your morning latte in your lap: it'll save you twenty-five bucks.

Explain The Fuss To Me

This story about 83% of college-age women being "obsessed with dieting" is making the rounds. Somehow I can't seem to get all that worked up about it, though.

"44 percent of the women having normal weight reported that they consciously curbed their urge to eat, while 57 percent of the overweight and 5 percent of obese women reported doing so. 32 percent of them skipped breakfast, while 9 percent resorted to smoking. 58 percent said that they felt pressure to maintain a certain weight by media or friends."

Later in the article, one of the researchers is surprised that the weight-control behaviors don't show up more in the overweight women than in the normal weight women. Doesn't it just mean that all the women, regardless of their size, are trying to control their weight with diet and exercise? And "consciously curb[ing] their urge to eat" could mean anything. Like sometimes I consciously pass up the free donuts that appear in the teacher's lounge. Isn't this relatively normal?