Obese Eight-Year Old
An obese eight-year-old (stories I've read place his weight at between 189 and 210 pounds) is in danger of being taken away from his parents. According to the BBC:
"The eight-year-old does have a bike and a trampoline which he uses, but he has to stop after around 10 minutes because he becomes out of breath and can vomit. He has difficulty dressing and washing himself, misses school regularly because of poor health and is a target for bullies."
I have to say that I do place some blame on the parents here. The mother has said:
"Connor had a mouthful of apple once and he didn't like it... He refuses to eat fruit, vegetables and salads - he has processed foods. When Connor won't eat anything else, I've got to give him the foods he likes. I can't starve him."
And per CNN:
"Connor's mother said he steals and hides food, frustrating her efforts to help him. He eats double or triple what a normal seven-year-old would have... 'If I didn't give him enough at teatime then he would just go on at us all night for snacks and stuff.'"
Two major problems jump out at me. One, "a mouthful of apple once"? That's her idea of trying to create healthy eating habits? It sounds like she's just spoiling him, quite frankly, allowing him to eat whatever he "likes" which, of course, is crappy processed food. And secondly, the "snacks and stuff" he steals and hides should not be in the house in the first place. I mean I don't know if he should be taken away from his parents; that seems rather extreme. But these parents clearly need some better strategies in dealing with their child.
This story has been turning up all over the place, but Clarrie sent in the tip to Big Fat Deal. Thanks, Clarrie.
"The eight-year-old does have a bike and a trampoline which he uses, but he has to stop after around 10 minutes because he becomes out of breath and can vomit. He has difficulty dressing and washing himself, misses school regularly because of poor health and is a target for bullies."
I have to say that I do place some blame on the parents here. The mother has said:
"Connor had a mouthful of apple once and he didn't like it... He refuses to eat fruit, vegetables and salads - he has processed foods. When Connor won't eat anything else, I've got to give him the foods he likes. I can't starve him."
And per CNN:
"Connor's mother said he steals and hides food, frustrating her efforts to help him. He eats double or triple what a normal seven-year-old would have... 'If I didn't give him enough at teatime then he would just go on at us all night for snacks and stuff.'"
Two major problems jump out at me. One, "a mouthful of apple once"? That's her idea of trying to create healthy eating habits? It sounds like she's just spoiling him, quite frankly, allowing him to eat whatever he "likes" which, of course, is crappy processed food. And secondly, the "snacks and stuff" he steals and hides should not be in the house in the first place. I mean I don't know if he should be taken away from his parents; that seems rather extreme. But these parents clearly need some better strategies in dealing with their child.
This story has been turning up all over the place, but Clarrie sent in the tip to Big Fat Deal. Thanks, Clarrie.
posted by mo pie at 8:30 AM
40 Comments:
That poor little boy! Rather than taking him away from his home - creating yet more problems - a better approach would be to send a dietician to the home on an ongoing basis to teach the parents about nutrition, as they clearly have no clue.
I had the same response; that woman needs lessons in parenting and nutrition. It's a shame that threatening the family is the only way to convince her to grow up and take charge, but maybe that is what's needed.
It reminds me of the schools that stopped serving junk food only to have mothers delivering it through the fence to their spoiled darlings at lunch time.
D
Definitely the parents need some education and a lot more backbone.
An old boyfriend of mine was an orderly in a hospital. One night, a young boy, 5 years old, was brought in with heart-attack like symptoms. He weighed 125 pounds. He ended up being hospitalized for several weeks for various weight related ailments. He was put on a medically supervised diet. But he wasn't losing weight.
Turns out his mom was smuggling McDonalds in to the hospital several times a day. When they tried to take the food away from him, he went wild.
Biting, screaming kicking, spitting. My boyfriend came home with bite marks all over his body.
Eventually the mother took him out of the hospital against medical advice, because it was just "too mean".
I never found out what happened to the kid, though the authorities were definitely involved.
If the parents can't get their act together and care for the kid properly, maybe he does need to be in a different environment.
"tried a mouthful of apple once"
That is very, very sad. This woman seems to suffer from the delusion that parenting does not involve being strict, or ever going against your child's wishes. I suspect she also has a deep LACK of understanding of nutrition. I've seen talk shows here in the US where (usually young) parents are giving their 18 month old babies cola and Dr Pepper in their bottles, and feeding them steak fries and sirloin because "it's good food" and they want their kid to be "well fed". They base their idea of "good food" on what makes the kid happiest at the time of eating, and it's mostly about constant treats because they love their kid and want to spoil them. How about spoiling them with praise, support, and all the story books they want? Oh, and a nice Dance Dance Revolution game to get them jumping about.
I'm not sure anyone has actually threatened to take the child in to care imminently (despite what the meedja say) but rather that was one of the options possible once social services became involved. And the mother had missed appointments with them before, which obviously caused them concern.
I do wonder if the child's weight is but a symptom of the reason social services are concerned, rather than the cause itself.
I feel really bad for that kid. Not only is he really fat, but people on TV and blogs across the world are now talking about how fat he is. If that were me, I'd dig a hole in the backyard and live in it for the next year or so.
I agree, but it was the kid's family that put the story out so publicly - kid's mum agreed to have a camera crew follow them round for a month and make a programme about them.
There're a lot of judgmental comments coming from what I assume is a fairly fat accepting audience here.
I was a fat child, too (weighing almost 200lbs. at the end of elementary school), and was never threatened with removal from my home--or any governmental intervention whatsoever. What's the difference between me and this boy? Maybe it's that when I was a fat kid, we weren't in the midst of the frenzy created by this "obesity epidemic," so that parents with fat kids weren't being accused of neglect for having a fat kid.
Certainly this boy and his family (father, mother, whomever) could benefit from some counseling, nutritional or otherwise. (Who among us wouldn't benefit from this, given that most people learn about nutrition from television advertisements.) But I can't say that I see any reason to either remove him from the home or to attack his family for making poor nutritional choices. I mean, seriously, how many of us fat chicks haven't been at the receiving end of the smug or sneering critique of our food choices?
Yep, definitly the parents fault! Poor kid, they need some help in parenting big time. We saw this story on the news this morning, in New Zealand.
Brenda, I'm with you. Being taken from his parents would probably damage him far more than his weight ever would. Talk about trauma. No matter what they tell him, he'll think he was taken away from his family because he is fat. It is the height of cruelty.
While I think the family could use a lesson on taking better care of themselves, I hope they don't try to put the kid on some draconian low calorie diet. That's not the answer either.
I love the way the media has hyped his problems by saying that he weighs four times what the average kid his age weighs. The kid is 5 feet tall, so though he may weigh four times what the average kid his age weighs, he does not weigh four times what he ought.
D
As I was reading this, all I could think about was Dudley, from the Harry Potter series.
You know, I really wonder in cases like this, if he's had a full metabolic work up and if there's anything wrong in an endocrine, neurologic or psychiatric sense. Yes, there are kids who are fat because their parents saturate them with junk food, but I have to suspect that this kind of extreme obesity in someone so young has a biochemical component. Treating any underlying disease might make it much easier for his family to comply with an improved eating program.
I mean, seriously, how many of us fat chicks haven't been at the receiving end of the smug or sneering critique of our food choices?
It's one thing for an adult to make poor choices for themselves. It's another to make them for children. If an adult chooses to eat junk food, that is up to them. To force a child to(if there's nothing else in the house, the kid can only eat what's there) is inappropriate.
D
By saying that we've all been at the receiving end of the nutritional snobbery of others was to point out that people are pointing a lot of fingers--sometimes in the wrong direction.
Parents have little useful information when it comes to feeding their children, and the amount and quality of that information is nothing compared to the kinds of advertising for absolute crap food that is aimed at children.
I am extremely nutritionally savvy, but that comes from years of reading everything I could get my hands on about nutrition and diet (much of it conflicting information), a degree in biochemistry, and from many visits to doctors and nutritionists. If the family in this case hasn't had the same kinds of opportunities, yes, they're likely to be making bad choices for themselves and for their child. But I for one, knowing how difficult it is to make good nutritional choices, am not going to point an accusing finger and say, "Bad mommy!"
I for one, knowing how difficult it is to make good nutritional choices, am not going to point an accusing finger and say, "Bad mommy!"
The woman basically said that she gives Conner junk food because he whines if she doesn't. That's a bad mommy (not to mention an enabler).
Raising kids is hard. I've done it, but somebody has got to be the grown up and that somebody should be the parent.
Admittedly, the woman does not sound like the sharpest tool in the shed, and the advice about what one should and shouldn't eat in what proportions has changed over the years, but she has abdicated her responsiblity in the matter.
D
I don't believe in judging parents so harshly for having a fat kid in part because I was also an extremely fat kid and my parents were wonderful and raised intelligent, feminist children. Also, I believe in helping folks to make better choices for themselves and their family, and that doesn't include the "Bad Mommy!" finger pointing routine.
If we're going the route of pointing fingers for parental shortcomings,nutritional or otherwise, there isn't any family that would stand up perfectly to scrutiny.
"If we're going the route of pointing fingers for parental shortcomings,nutritional or otherwise, there isn't any family that would stand up perfectly to scrutiny."
As someone else pointed out, she courted publicity by having the press follow her family around for a month. Public scrutiny is attended by public commentary.
This kind of forum allows us to make comments we would never say to someone face to face. It allows us to be honest rather than polite because we know the lady in question will likely never know what is said here.
The issue as I see it is not so much that the boy is fat, it is that everything the mother says indicates that boy is running the show, not her. That is too much responsibility for a child his age. A child of ten needs direction.
D
You're absolutely right. This is the mom's responsibility. There's some food that just shouldn't be in the house. If you don't want him to eat it, do not bring it home.
I agree with Brenda that, while obviously unhealthy stuff is going down, it's dangerous to just attack the parents without all the information.
While it sounds like the mother is courting publicity now, what happened first to bring this case to the media's attention? The mother may be seeing this as her chance to defend herself from all those pointing fingers. I agree that it is a lame defense, but it's important to try to see what she's defending herself against. Anne Diamond's ridiculous column seems to be about defending her choice to go to Belgium to get WLS that no doctor in the UK or US would give her, so it was in her interest to say that fat=miserable. What's motivating this mother's defensiveness?
Having been at the end of "public scrutiny" via the media as a result of the murder of a family member, I would hazard the guess that about 90% or more of the "facts" people are getting from the news reports is absolute junk, completely wrong at best and malicious at worst. I would guess that the family of this little boy is finding that out right about now.
And as far as the anonymity in this, a public forum, being a place where we can say anything? It seems a coward's way out of being compassionate. I don't believe this boy's parents should be denigrated for having a fat child. Period. So I'm not going to support the fat witch hunt mentality going on around this event, whether or not the mother is "asking for it" by inviting the media into her life.
Guess what? Not every parent is going to raise their child the way the majority of an anonymous public forum thinks they should. Sometimes that results in a fat child, sometimes it results in a selfish, entitled child, sometimes it results in an independent, creative child. It's only because this child is fat and we, as a society, fear and vilify fat people that this is an issue.
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Really ! who cares ? he still has a choice or not wether to eat as mush as he does even though he,s only eight.
It was in the papers this morning - he's not being taken into care. And the family are getting help to try to improve matters.
he still has a choice or not wether to eat as mush as he does even though he,s only eight.
Are you kidding me? Children don't automatically know what is good or bad for them, only what tastes or feels good to them. And this child has clearly learned/taught himself some bad eating habits, I would argue through no fault of his own. So now you're saying that an eight-year old is supposed to understand proper nutrition and appropriate portion sizes, with no guidance whatsoever? That's... just ridiculous.
this poor guy, he needs like to go to a camp with other kids like him and learn to make good choices. the ister could help out. but seriously, it would be so cute to hold him like a baby and tickle his cheeks and belly. even though its pretty big. he is rather plump and round. kinda like a balloon. lol, but he is cute and could have a good life fat or not. i am not making fun of him, he seem likke a good kid. but this child is round. but is the moms fault, thabks for reading this. good luck conner. be happy! you can break the scale. or watch it go down. look at him, 4 beds he has broken! 5 bikes. thats pretty bad. bye
he could be bigger, but he should go down. he is so plump 5 minutes of exersize makes him vomit. connor go to fat camp and stop eating all that food!
Wow, he's 8 and already 5 feet tall? I agree that maybe he needs to be tested to make sure it isn't some kind of growth hormone thing.
That is crazy. I'm 21 and an inch shorter and 80 pounds less than him.
hey everyone,
i am 8 years old and live near connor. i am 170 lbs. less than him. it really is sad. kids bully him and i try to stick up for him. i hug him and tell him it will be alright, i can't fit my arms around him. i touch his belly sometimes and we both laugh. it jiggles like santa. but we are putting him as a freak show, i really care for him and want himt o be safe. he wears mens sizes. i am scared for him
bye bye!
hello everyone
i am 8 and weigh 170 lbs. left. i live around his neighborhood and he is bullied by everyone! even adults. my mommy says he is just ineed of some help. i hug him and tell him its ok. i can't fit my arms around him. its sad. but he is my friend. i touched his belly once,, n we laughed. someone payed him, they hit his belly and it jiggled 4 40 seconds.o
help him
bye byet
Good for you, kiddo--Connor I'm sure is happy to have friends like you! If you ever want to do a guest post on the blog, e-mail me.
i'm ten and weigh 240. i am fat and eat aton but happy
thanks mo-pie! i think it shouldnt matter what size you are, you know? thanks again
bye bye
thanks mo-pie! i think it shouldnt matter what size you are, you know? thanks again
bye bye
the mother will see what shes done when connoor is screaming to not take his insulin and not have a blood test every day. and when the little boy is crying from ppl calling him names and is vomiting from a little p.e exersize. hes 8.
the little fatty could be a couch.
5 kids in africa his age dont weigh that much combined. he is gonna die at a youung age. he is digging his own grave with a fork and spoon and big macs! poor dude. if he were at my house i would love him and not put him on a public freak show. it woldnt matter to me if he were five hundred lbs. i would just give him his food and water because he probaly coulndt move. poor dude.
lets hope his little friend doesnt get squashed by him. if he dies i will be terribly sad
when the little boy is getting shots for insulin everyone will understand what they have done, i dont know why he is that big. i am a full rown man and a body builder and stil weigh less. the kid is going to have a miserable life.
hey it's connors friend here.
i dont want him to have to get shots!! why should he be in this pain! i could care less if he was 800 lbs. he is nice. if i had to i would push him around in a wheel chair.
too bad, he is just a kid. let him be a little fattie. if it makes him happy. his belly might attract some other fat lady and they will get married and have a fat baby who will be the same size he is and then they will all be fatt patties sitting on the sofe and eating. the end thats it. if this makes him happy
i was a fat kid. now i am in a wheel chair for morbidly obeseity.
my husband pushes me around and gets me mcdonalds every day. it feels good to have a cushion of fat. no jk lol i am a skinny person/ that will stink when he is in the hospital, wont it
i feel thaaaat; they should help their son before he dies =x
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