Awesome Blossom, Extra Awesome
As if fried Coke weren't awesome enough, here is medication based on the notion that Jesus will help you lose weight.
"Our contemporary food delivery system results in loss of many original nutrients; however, the scientists at Faith Meds™ have studied God's natural design for nutrition and developed supplements that make it possible for you to nourish yourself as He intended."
I find the picture at the top of their about page very terrifying. And I love how their mission to spread the Word costs twenty bucks a pop. Come on, can't I get some free healing? Maybe from one of those Gideon Bibles?
"Our contemporary food delivery system results in loss of many original nutrients; however, the scientists at Faith Meds™ have studied God's natural design for nutrition and developed supplements that make it possible for you to nourish yourself as He intended."
I find the picture at the top of their about page very terrifying. And I love how their mission to spread the Word costs twenty bucks a pop. Come on, can't I get some free healing? Maybe from one of those Gideon Bibles?
posted by mo pie at 1:04 PM
12 Comments:
Oh my god...it looks like she is growing out of the side of his head. And they are both so HAPPY about it!
Also, far as I know, there's no evidence in the Bible that Jesus had healthy eating habits. I think he probably was skinny, but I can't imagine anyone wanting to follow his program, even if it meant getting a job as a catwalk model.
Mary, I should probably attempt to say something profound about Jesus' eating habits, but instead I'm going to say that I think he ate a lot of fish, which likely contributed to his being both good-looking and smart.
Aha. Went to the site; Glucofast and the other herbal combinations they have are cross-marketed on many other websites.
Just because God made the herbs doesn't mean they're found only in the Bible. Glucofast's parent company is just targeting its latest niche demographic.
I'm not cynical or nuthin'.
littlem - I guess I was thinking of that whole fasting in the desert and being horribly imprisoned thing. I bet you're right about the fish! Very healthy.
Mary, I should probably attempt to say something profound about Jesus' eating habits, but instead I'm going to say that I think he ate a lot of fish, which likely contributed to his being both good-looking and smart.
And let's not forget he wasn't adverse to a nice glass of wine either.
He was no anti-carb fanatic, either. Remember, it was loaves and fish that he multiplied.
I have a perfect picture of Buddy Christ from Dogma saying "Lose Weight Now! Ask me how..."
Jesus will help you lose weight. But only if you give us $75 a month. Psha...
And I second the fishes, loaves and wine. You just know that Jesus would prefer some fresh grilled salmon and a swig of merlot over fried coke balls ANY day!
I bet He ate cheese too. There were a lot of sheep and goat farmers in the area. So far, I'm liking the diet of Jesus! Except for the fasting in the desert and horrible imprisonment and starvation parts.
There are some pretty simple dietary guidelines that are laid out in the Old Testament, which many Christians (myself included) believe to be a way of showing us what is the healthiest for us to eat. If someone really wants to eat like Jesus, they would probably want to start there, and learn how Jews of the day ate.
As far as suppliments and the like, I've never been a fan of them. It honestly seems to make more sense to try and eat organic whole foods, foods as natural as we can find them.
Speaking as a Christian though, while the kinds of foods we put into our body is important, the bigger issue is whether we are making food our own little "god". Eating organic will only do so much for a body when a person loses themselves in gluttony. No suppliment is going to just "insta-fix" the condition of a person's heart, which is what generally drives folks to emotional eating and the like.
For Christmas one year, one of my husband's relatives gave me a book entitled "The Devil Wants to Keep You Fat!" I took the title as Gospel and never read it. Who am I to fight Satan over my weight? I donated it to the local library on a joke. It has stayed checked out ever since! What did I learn from all this? Mississippi sucks!
Mmmmmmm. Cheese.
"Who am I to fight Satan over my weight?"
Hahahahahahahahaha!!
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